There were many times during the week of preparations for this trip where I thought, what the fuck am I doing? Time, money, effort, questions, problems, loneliness. I could be doing so many other things right now. I’d had all these thoughts before and knew it was worth it, so I kept on going, got her in the water.
I find something special out there. At a quiet anchorage there is space to be at peace. I have my little ship, she has me. And we have the world around us. The open seas call to us. We will answer soon. But for now the world around us says, just sit. Breathe. Turn the lights off and stand in the moonlight. Watch the flickers and glimmers upon the water. Look up at the stars. And sometimes, look down at them reflected in the water.
Dad joined me again for our fourth expedition together over 13 years. So much fun it was. The most special times were in the quiet anchorages. I cook us dinner, we eat in the cockpit, and then with nowhere else to be, nothing else to do, we talk until it’s time to go to sleep. Things come up that do not come up elsewhere. The quiet cockpit is a sacred space at the end of the day.
In the solo sail, I find freedom. No one around for miles. A unique feeling. I can do as I please. Just me and Daphne, accepting me as I am.
There was one anchorage where I was quietly making dinner and I heard a trumpet from shore. Channeling my uncle Tots, I couldn’t resist…I climbed into the cockpit and reached into the aft cabin to pull out…my pocket trumpet which I have on board as a fog horn. And so I responded to the trumpet with my own trumpeting. What followed was a fun back and forth. Like a language repeating each others songs. It was quite fun. The following night, I was at the same anchorage, about to go to sleep early, when I heard the trumpet again. I thought about just letting it go, heading into my aft cabin and calling it a night…letting the mystery linger unsolved. But I couldn’t resist, so I grabbed my trumpet, played a few tunes and jumped in Velma to row ashore and see who this trumpeter was. They family all came out to meet me as I landed on shore. Trumpet in hand, I met Mae, an upcoming 7th grader from California getting ready for her first Jazz Band tryout. We had a wonderful chat as her whole family was so curious who the sailing trumpeter was! They told stories of Mae running inside saying excitedly, “There’s a trumpeter out there!’ or something along those lines. I returned a few days later, and started to play again. While they had some music playing, I heard, “Turn the music off, turn the music off!” so we could play together. What friends I have now, with many unexpected connections. Thanks to the pocket trumpets that Uncle Tots introduced me to!
So what the fuck am I doing? Sailing, navigating, caring for my ship, expeditioning with my father, connecting to the world, connecting to people, sitting, breathing, appreciating this ship and all our adventures over the years, filling up my joy funnel that’s now overflowing and seeing wonderful friends.
I hate to wrap it up, but the time has come to make some money for the next expedition. In that regard, I have started a Patreon page as an experiment. If you’re interested in videos from the journey, you can visit my Patreon page (Earth Astronaut) Earth Astronaut – Patreon and subscribe at $3/month for sailing/flying/Antarctica. I hope in the next few years to go with Daphne on a long expedition, and do more of this as a way to help support the expedition. Free week-long trial, cancel anytime. I figure, otherwise, I wouldn’t spend the time to make the videos, so we’ll see. So far, I have one patron: thanks, Mom!!! I’ll put those $3 to good use!
In that same vein, I also am trying to did more into photography to see if I can sell some prints. I’ve started to add some good ones, so if your walls are looking a bit bare…Another experiment. https://benjaminurmston.smugmug.com/
The list is long for these next few days, I’ll power through from the other side of finding myself again in it’s purest sense. Reconfirming many of my happiest memories are with Daphne (and also Freddy). I’ll carry it forward and be back again!
(No news yet from NASA not surprisingly, but I theoretically could hear sometime in the next few months. Interviews are scheduled to occur from October – December. We shall see. Maybe if I am destined never to go into orbit, Daphne and I will do our own orbit of the Earth at an altitude of 0′. Adventures await, either way!
