Transitions

After two summers of electrical engineering graduate school and then one crazy summer of COVID-19, I finally got Daphne back in the water again. She has been patiently waiting for 4 years and we are back together again floating in the sea, where we are supposed to be.

The launch date was a deadline and there are a million things to do before she is ready. Every time I’ve gone sailing, I reach a point during the prep where I think, “Why do I do this?” It’s a lot of solo work, time, energy and money. Thankfully I can remember the answer so I forge ahead.

After a long day that started at 0515, the ship was splashed, loaded, fueled, stowed, sails bent on, cleaned and all the rest. By the time it was time to go to sleep, I felt like I had barely eaten or drank anything all day. But it was amazing to see Daphne go back in the water. It was like being cold and getting into a hut tub. That, “Ahhhh, yes…” feeling. That feeling was countered later by the feeling of kicking a screw driver off the dock and into the water by mistake…it seems every something goes over the side. Counter to the counter, though, when I got out my wetsuit, mask, snorkel and fins and found the thing, handle facing up like when one throws it into the ground. No other treasures beside the traffic cone on the bottom.

To finally motor off the dock and break the chain to land felt great. Then when Daphne was all cleaned up and things stowed where they are supposed to go while on the mooring, even better!

It is now the morning of Day 1. I am still adjusting to life at sea. I haven’t gone anywhere on account of strong winds, rain and fog, but I’m using the time to get some things out of the way. But even when I transition to good things, it takes me a few days to adjust. Three days usually before the recent memories of what I’m doing tend to eclipse whatever I was doing before. I must have a subconscious 3-day recent memory of some kind. So not yet out of the three days, I awoke full of question. Is this all worth it? What am I doing with my life, what has led me here, and so on. I’m still infected with land-thoughts! Hopefully not for long, as already as I took some time to write some notes for future expeditions, I could feel the focus coming and the rest of it all start to fade in a good way.

I have a short three weeks before I need to be back. Then, if all goes well, I’ll be headed back to the Antarctic on one of the research vessels as a marine electronics technician. I am psyched! Until then, time to decompress and use this time as a shake down cruise for a much longer one that will come hopefully sooner rather than later.

Students at Berkshire School start to arrive today. I was there this time of year during the last 6 years. Sometimes with all the unknowns and challenges of contract work, it’s easy to think about the teaching I loved, the community I loved, the house I loved, and the comfortable predictability. But as they say, you only love once! So I’ll head toward the adventure and the unknown for better or for worse! (Much love to any of you Berkshire folks! I dearly miss you!)

Other things of note: I find I am more bummed about NASA than before in that I still feel like I would have made a really good astronaut. It’s hard not to second guess the route I chose in trying to get there but I wouldn’t really change anything. Still, one of the best remedies for feeling a little down is for me to watch a space documentary. Nothing inspires like a moon landing! (Watch: IN THE SHADOW OF THE MOON). And when something doesn’t work, I suddenly find myself talking in a sort of New Zealand or Australian accent. For some reason it seems to help my problem solving attitude. Maybe it helps because it’s like solving a problem with someone else – always easier that way.

Many ways, more to come, thanks for reading! I’ll happily answer any questions I think he comment section! Much love to you all!

(Sorry no pics, my computer is too old to interface with it all. Lots of pics on Instagram: @benjaminurmston)